Ep 11: Emotional Regulation Strategies and Generational Healing with Christel Estrada
Have you ever met someone who turned their traumatic past into a beacon of hope for others? Or maybe -- you're still looking because you want to take a bits of advice from them 🤔We've got some valuable insights to share on this transformative journey, Mama!
As I promised, our hope in this village is to build a happier, healthier future for our family! Growing up in an abusive environment can cast a long shadow, but it doesn't have to define your future. Whether your kids are still young or already adults, it's never too late to initiate change.
Learn 4 Essential things you can practice to break the cycle of generational abuse:
1. Acceptance and Forgivess: Practice accepting your past and forgiving those who may have hurt you. It's not about condoning their actions but releasing the hold those memories have on your present. By accepting what has happened and forgiving, you free yourself to focus on the present and the future.
According to Christel in our recent episode, "I was angry. Straight up angry. And anger is a secondary emotion, so that means when you are angry there are other emotions that go into it, right? But like, when I say like I was sad, I would be angry. I would be crying because I was so sad, and I would be yelling at you because you just came to comfort me." She recognized that her anger was often uncontrolled and led to destructive behaviors. She knew she needed to find healthier ways to express and manage her anger.
2. Emotional Regulation: Learn to recognize and manage your own emotions, especially intense ones like anger and frustration. Unresolved emotions can cloud your judgment and affect your interactions with your children. Finding healthy ways to express these emotions, such as through journaling or talking to a therapist, can prevent you from inadvertently passing your pain onto your family.
Journaling is a powerful tool in her journey toward emotional regulation. Journaling provided a safe space for Kori and Chrisel to process their emotions and gain a deeper understanding of themselves. It helped them to recognize triggers, explore underlying emotions, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
3. Positive Discipline: Cultivate open, honest, and respectful communication within your family. Encourage your children to express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. Likewise, be open to hearing their thoughts and experiences. Positive discipline plays a crucial role here. Instead of punitive measures, focus on teaching your children the reasons behind certain rules and behaviors. Healthy communication, combined with positive discipline, builds trust and understanding, creating a safe space for everyone to grow emotionally and mentally.
Children need guidance and boundaries, but they also need to feel loved, heard and understood. You have to discover the power of active listening, validating emotions, and setting clear expectations. By using positive discipline strategies, you were able to create a safe and supportive environment for your children to grow and thrive. Break the cycle of anger and abuse by teaching yout children healthy ways to express their emotions and resolve conflicts.
4. Understand anger: Journaling provides a safe space to explore your anger and its underlying causes. When you put your feelings into words, it helps you gain clarity and perspective. Reflect on the triggers, the emotions behind the anger, and the impact it has on your life. This self-awareness is the first step towards transformation.
Additionally, practice deep breathing and mindfulness techniques to stay calm when anger arises. By developing emotional intelligence, you can recognize anger as a signal, allowing you to respond thoughtfully instead of impulsively. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your journey and can provide guidance when needed.
Remember, Mama, these practices might take time to master, but with patience and dedication, you can create a loving environment where your family can thrive. Here's to building that happy generation, one positive step at a time! 🌟
Christel is a parenting coach specializing in emotional regulation, cycle-breaking, and positive connection. As the owner of Surviving To Thriving Parenthood, she's been able to have a tremendous impact on parents and families all over the country and all over the world. She's on a mission to help families create real long-lasting positive change and enjoys every up and down associated with it. She and her husband have 2 boys and are living in Utah enjoying all of life's many adventures.
Follow her:
Instagram: @survivingtothriving1
Website: survivingtothriving.com
Mamas, remember you are not alone. This is a village of mothers who understand, celebrate, and uplift one another. Remember that you are loved, seen, and appreciated. Motherhood is full of ups and downs, and you are doing an AMAZING job!
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