Ep 1: How to Keep the Spark Alive - The Key to Lasting Intimacy for Parents with Megan Lambert
Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and growth. However, amidst the busyness of parenting, it's easy for couples to lose sight of their connection and intimacy.
In the pilot episode of our podcast, “How to Keep the Spark Alive - The Key to Lasting Intimacy for Parents with Megan Lambert” - Megan and I, explore expert insights and practical tips to prioritize pleasure, desire, and love in the midst of motherhood.
Here are the takeaways from our conversation:
Embrace Your Desires: It's natural to prioritize the needs of your family and children above everything else. However, in the midst of all the responsibilities and demands of motherhood, it's crucial to remember that embracing and honoring your own desires is essential for your own happiness and the vitality of your relationship with your partner. During the conversation, we discussed the importance of desire and how it plays a central role in maintaining a thriving partnership. We also talk about exactly HOW to communicate your desires to your partner in a way where they WANT to support them!
Prioritize Bite-Sized Intimacy: Finding time for intimacy might seem challenging. That's where bite-sized intimacy comes into play. It refers to those simple acts of love and affection that can be incorporated into your daily routine without requiring a significant time commitment. Simple acts like pausing for a quick kiss, leaving a love note, or a loving touch can go a long way in fostering a connection. Ask your partner what types of bite-sized intimacy they’d enjoy, and share yours with them. This helps keep things warmed up in the everyday moments which also makes deeper intimacy easier to access.
The Power of Love Dates: Spontaneity is romantic, but scheduling love dates is a game-changer for couples, especially parents. One of the significant advantages of scheduling love dates is that it ensures you and your partner make intentional efforts to come together regularly. It helps to overcome the common challenges of finding the right moment amidst the chaos of parenting, work, and other commitments. By setting a specific time and date, you create a sense of anticipation and excitement for the upcoming rendezvous, making it a shared priority for both partners. On your love date, you get to create what it looks like – on some days it might just be cuddling or a massage, and other days might be going into deeper connection. Communicate what you are wanting – especially as a new mama.
Navigating Conflict with Grace: All relationships encounter conflicts, and parenting can bring its fair share of stress. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and it can arise from differences in opinions, and priorities, or simply from the stress and exhaustion that often accompany parenting. What's crucial is the way couples handle these conflicts and how they use them as opportunities for growth and connection. One book we love is - The Dance of the Lion and The Unicorn. You will look at conflict in a whole new way and truly understand your own inner fighter, as well as your partners. After a conflict, prioritizing repair and setting a positive example for children on how to handle conflicts in their own lives.
Your Child as the Emotional Barometer: Ever noticed how your child's behavior reflects the emotional climate in your household? Children are sensitive to their parents' dynamics. Just like a barometer measures changes in atmospheric pressure, children unconsciously pick up on shifts in their parents' emotions and dynamics. When parents are connected, loving, and in harmony, children often feel safe, secure, and content. On the other hand, when there is tension, conflict, or emotional distance between parents, children may exhibit signs of distress, anxiety, or acting out. Notice what is going on with your little one, and then see what your partnership is needing.
Creating Your Relationship Vision: What do you want your relationship to look like? Having a shared vision provides a roadmap for the relationship. It helps couples to stay aligned and focused on their goals even when life gets busy or challenging, especially for parents who have numerous responsibilities. When you find yourself deviating from their vision, they can course-correct and bring their focus back to the intentions they set for their partnership.
In the journey of motherhood, it's easy to get lost in the daily hustle and forget to nurture the most important relationship – the one with your partner. Remember, it’s normal for the relationship to go through ups and downs as parents -- and you can always come back together to truly thrive with the right support, resources, and desire. Love with your partner, will lift up your entire family.
Megan D. Lambert is a master-certified intimacy and desire expert. She’s helped hundreds of people around the world experience more love, better sex, and clearer desires through her retreats, group programs, and private coaching. Previously, she was a senior leadership consultant to Fortune 100 companies. Now, she lives in Bali with her husband, two puppies, and their baby girl.
Instagram: @meganlambert
Podcast: Touchy Topics
Book: Eros: The Journey Home
Retreat: Devoted Bali Retreat - I HIGHLY recommend this retreat! I've already attended 3 with my partner.
Mamas, remember you are not alone. This is a village of mothers who understand, celebrate, and uplift one another. Remember that you are loved, seen, and appreciated. Motherhood is full of ups and downs, and you are doing an AMAZING job!
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